The Hard Work of Building Relationships

Being around parents and their young children is an interesting thing--especially when a child is first learning to talk. To the outside observer, the child's talk is utter nonsense; yet, somehow the parent seems to understand. The child says, "Baa la mi" (or some other combination of grunts, beeps, or clicks) and the parent gives the child a cup of milk. Amy and I have experienced this with all of our children. We have listened and observed our children for long enough to be able to understand what they are seeking to communicate, even when others have no idea what they said. The ability to understand our children did not happen overnight. It takes time and effort. Other relationships are not much different. If we are really going to get to know others, then it is going to take time and effort. Deep relationships don't happen overnight. They are cultivated over time. Relationships are hard work, but they are well worth the effort. The importance of relationships really comes into focus when we consider what the Bible has to say about relating to one another:

Love one another – Romans 12:10

Honor one another – Romans 12:10

Live in harmony with one another – Romans 12:16; 15:5

Instruct one another – Romans 15:14

Care for one another – 1 Corinthians 12:25

Comfort one another – 2 Corinthians 13:11

Serve one another – Galatians 5:13

Be kind to one another – Ephesians 4:32

Forgive one another – Ephesians 4:32

Address one another with psalms, hymns, spiritual songs – Ephesians 5:19

Submit to one another – Ephesians 5:21

Be truthful to one another – Colossians 3:9

Teach and Admonish one another – Colossians 3:16

Encourage one another – 1 Thessalonians 4:18

Build up one another – 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Do good to one another – 1 Thessalonians 5:15

Exhort one another – Hebrews 3:13

Consider how to stir up one another – Hebrews 10:24

Confess sins to one another – James 5:16

Pray for one another – James 5:16

Show hospitality to one another – 1 Peter 4:9

Be humble toward one another – 1 Peter 5:5

So, commit yourself to doing the hard work of building relationships. In case you're wondering where to start, I'll leave you with three thoughts.

First, remember that the most important relationship is a relationship with Jesus. Without a proper relationship with Him, all of your other relationships will never be right.

Second, build relationships in the context of the local church.

Third, meet and build relationships with those who have yet to have faith in Jesus. The Lord can use you to help them find the relationship that they need most desperately.

Ordinary Events, Extraordinary Opportunity

Has it ever crossed your mind that God may be working through the ordinary events of your life in order to give you the extraordinary opportunity to tell others about Jesus? In other words, keep your eyes and ears open as you interact with people on a daily basis. Your seemingly common conversations with a waitress, a friend, a family member, a co-worker, or a cashier may be a prime opportunity to sharing the good news of Jesus.

Afraid to Tell Your Story?

As he was getting into the boat, the man who had been possessed with demons begged him that he might be with him. And he did not permit him but said to him, “Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.” 20 And he went away and began to proclaim in the Decapolis how much Jesus had done for him, and everyone marveled. (Mark 5:18-20, ESV)

I'd like for each of you to take a moment and answer this question: Are you afraid to tell others about Jesus?

Christians often become fearful when they begin to think about sharing their faith with other (i.e. witnessing, evangelism, etc.). A number of questions or thoughts may run through your head:

• What am I supposed to say?
• Do I know enough about Jesus to tell others about Him?
• What if I mess up?

If you have ever experienced fear in regards to evangelism or entertained any of these questions, I'd like to encourage you with a few thoughts.

First, tell your story. Don't make evangelism more complicated than it really is. Evangelism is telling others what Jesus has done for you. Isn't that what Jesus told the man to do--to tell of His acts and mercy? If you are a Christian, then you have a story to tell. Why? Because the story of your life has intersected with the Big Story--the Story of Salvation. Your sin has been forgiven because of Christ's life, death, and resurrection. Tell others what He's done for you.

Second, begin with your friends. Those who know you the best will be the ones who will most readily see how Jesus has changed you. The friends of the demoniac remembered him as someone who lived among the graves, cut himself with stones, constantly cried out, and broke out of his changed. Yet, after encountering Jesus, he was changed.

There's much more that can be said, but we need to start somewhere. May the Lord give you opportunities this week to share your story.

( Go here to read the whole story of Jesus' encounter with the Gerasenes demoniac.)

The False Gospel of Moralism

Let's say that you meet someone who is not a Christian. After talking with them for a while you learn that they like to get drunk on the weekends and have sex with their girlfriend. How do you respond? Is your first response to tell them to clean-up their life--stop getting drunk and having sex outside of marriage? If so, you're preaching the false gospel of moralism. Granted, drunkenness and sexual immorality are both sins. But a non-Christian doesn't need moral improvement--they need the good news that Jesus saves sinners. Albert Mohler recently put it this way:

In our own context, one of the most seductive false gospels is moralism. This false gospel can take many forms and can emerge from any number of political and cultural impulses. Nevertheless, the basic structure of moralism comes down to this -- the belief that the Gospel can be reduced to improvements in behavior.

Sadly, this false gospel is particularly attractive to those who believe themselves to be evangelicals motivated by a biblical impulse. Far too many believers and their churches succumb to the logic of moralism and reduce the Gospel to a message of moral improvement. In other words, we communicate to lost persons the message that what God desires for them and demands of them is to get their lives straight.

Continue read Dr. Mohler's blog post here.

Why So Skeptical?

If I were to announce today that my church (or any other church for that matter) baptized 300 people yesterday, I'm sure that people would react in many different ways. Some would rejoice. They would praise the Lord that so many people had come to know Jesus as Lord and Savior. Yet, others would doubt. Some would doubt that the gospel had really been preached in its fullness. Others would assume that we must have toyed with peoples' emotions. Others would doubt that people had really come to faith in Jesus. I'll be the first to admit that there are times when pastors have preached false gospels, people's emotions have been twisted and faith was only temporary. These are sad realities.

But let me ask a question: why have we become such skeptics? Why do we act as though it is unbelievable or impossible that 300 people truly came to faith in Jesus? In Acts 2:41 Luke tells us that after Peter's sermon "those who received his word were baptized, and there were added that day about three thousand souls."

So, I ask you once again: Why so skeptical?

Church Planting and Church Buildings

On a number of occasions, after telling people that I am a minister within a church, they have responded with this question: "Where is your church?" I've often wanted to respond by saying, "Our church is scattered throughout Anderson County." Of course, such a response would likely be met with a look of confusion because such an answer is theological in nature. The questioner wants to know about location--where our building is--not theology.

The first definition given for "church" at dictionary.com is "a building for public Christian worship." For many people, the first thing that comes to mind about a "church" is a building, not the body of believers. In some ways, church planting can help believers remember that the primary definition of the church is theological--the Church consists of Christians, not physical buildings or a location. For those involved in church planting (or Christian ministry as a whole), we cannot allow buildings to be our primary means of "advertisement" to our communities. Instead, the church--the people--must be primary. Let us live as a distinctive, gospel-driven community. Let our lives be our apologetic.

Calvinism and Evangelism

In any discussion that touches on the issue of Calvinism , one will certainly encounter a number of misunderstandings. One such misunderstanding is the belief that Calvinism undercuts evangelism. In the minds of some, a belief in total depravity (total inability), unconditional election, limited atonement (particular redemption), irresistible grace, and perseverance of the saints is incompatible with calling sinners to repentance. Yet, nothing could be further from the truth. On the contrary, a proper understanding of the doctrines of grace puts evangelism in a proper focus and should build-up ones zeal for evangelism.

On this past Lord's Day Patrick Miller,Pastor at Redeemer Church (PCA), delivered a sermon that clearly reveals that there is no conflict between Calvinism and evangelism. Please carve out an hour of your day to listen to this sermon. I believe you will be both challenged and encouraged from God's Word. (And please don't be mistaken...the point of the sermon was not to debate over the points of Calvinism...I don't even think he mentions Calvinism!) Rather, Patrick reminds us that we will all come before the Great White Throne of Judgment. And in that Day, let what was said of Abraham also be said of you and I: "And he believed the LORD, and he counted it to him as righteousness" (Genesis 15:6, ESV). Our hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness! Listen to Sovereign: Before the Throne.

Evangelism and Church Growth, New Testament Style!

We certainly live in an age of information. We can take in and distribute information in so many ways: Internet, television, radio, books, newspapers, etc. I certainly appreciate and utilize all of these communication forms...actually, you and I are enjoying the benefits of the Internet now! There is no doubt that the Church has benefited from these mediums. Yet, we must not forget that the early Church lived in a very different time and place. Big church buildings? Nope. Flashy Internet sites? Not hardly. MP3 sermon audio? No. Big Christian publishing houses? Not even close. In a sermon on Acts 5:12-32, Dr. Derek W.H. Thomas puts it like this:

But there were no buildings. There was no choir. There was nothing to attract them from an external point of view. There was just the blandness of the apostles and other men and women talking about Jesus. That’s all there was. There was no movie, there were no books, there were no pamphlets or tracts; there were no radio stations. As far as we know, there weren’t any great
preachers, although Peter seems now to be turning into a great preacher. It’s all of God, you see. It’s all of God. This is the Lord’s doing. There are no formulas here; there is no methodology of evangelism that you can discern. They’re engaging in witnessing to Jesus, to His life and death and resurrection, and exaltation to the right hand of God. It’s all about Jesus Christ, and they’re talking about Him! And men and women are being drawn to Him!

Although all of our modern communications can be used to the glory of God, we must never forget this truth: As God's people--those called to bear witness in the world--we must remember that our formulas, methods, or mediums are not what will compel the world to turn to our Triune God. Our primary task is to equip our hearts, minds, and lips with the message of Jesus' life, death, resurrection, and reign.

(If you'd like to read or listen to all of Dr. Thomas' sermon, Prison Break, go here.)

Could You Survive in Poverty?

To be honest, during my life I have had very little contact with poverty. I grew up in a very stable, middle-class home where I knew that I would have the necessities (such as food, clothes, and shelter) as well as some things that were luxuries (such as video games, family vacations, toys, etc.). This is not to say that my parents never had to stuggle with finances. I believe most middle-class families stuggle at times due to unexpected hospital visits or broken vehicles. Yet, poverty has not been part of my life. So, it would be difficult for me to understand some of the particular thought-patterns, stuggles, and concerns that people in poverty must deal with.

So what's my point? Over the last few years, I've realized that contextualization is a process that must take place everywhere, not just on foreign mission fields. This is being missional...living as a missionary in your own backyard. If we truly desire to bring the gospel to all people, then we must place ourselves in "someone else's shoes." We should seek to understand the various mindsets, struggles, and assumptions that other people bring with them. When missionaries travel to other places, they practice contexualization--not so that they can adapt or change the gospel--but so that they can overcome the obstacles (social, linguistic, etc) that unnecessarily hinder gospel proclaimation.

Recently, someone gave me the book, A Framework for Understanding Poverty by Ruby Payne. In one of the chapter's Payne explains that there are hidden rules (i.e. unspoken cues and habits) that exist among the classes of poverty, middle class, and wealth. Unfortunatly, people within a particular class assume that everyone knows the hidden rules--the rules are presupposed. Simply put, we believe that everyone thinks like we do. Yet, as Payne demonstrates, we cannot assume that everyone carries the same presuppositions as we do. For example, in regard to food, the various classes focus on different key questions: 1) For those in poverty, the key question is "Did you have enough" (quanity important). 2) For those in the middle class, the key question is "Did you like it?" (Quality important). 3) For those in wealth the key question is "Was it presented well" (presentation important) (p.42-43). Of course, the lines will sometimes be blurred (and exceptions do exists). But the point is for us to step out of our circumstances, in order to see the world through someone else's eyes.

So, I encourage each of you to step into someone else's shoes this week. Learn about the various "cultures" that are found in your city or town. Step out into your backyard and live like a missionary.

Christians, Atheists, and a Lot of Warm-Fuzzies

The Good

There has been a lot of discussion between atheists and Christians lately. A lot of this has to do with the highly polemical books written by atheists such as Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, and Christopher Hitchens. Of course, some Christians have not allowed those books to go unchallenged. American Vision recently published two books (Letter from a Christian Citizen by Douglas Wilson and The Return of the Village Atheist by Joel McDurmon) in response to Sam Harris' book, Letter to a Christian Nation. In addition to the book, Douglas Wilson has been doing some excellent apologetic work as he responds and challanges men like Dawkins, Harris, and Hitchens. Be sure to stop by Wilson's blog or visit the online debate between Wilson and Hitchens.

The Bad and The Ugly

Unfortunately, not all the interactions between Chrisitans and atheists have been as helpful as Wilson's. Some Christians are more concerned with get warm and fuzzy with atheist, instead of challanging them to turn to Christ.

Honestly, I knew that this article ("Christians and Atheists Start a Calmer Dialogue") was going to be ridiculous before I even began reading it--but it was far worse than I imagined. Take a few minutes to read the whole article, but here are a few of the interesting--or should I say, sad--quotes. My comments will be in italics.

Mr. Henderson set out to learn how "the unchurched" respond to various kinds of worship services – what it is they find appealing and what leaves them cold. He began to pay nonbelievers $25 to go to a church and tell him what they thought.

This points us to a major problem in the evangelical world. Often, pastors and other leaders place more emphasis on learning from "the unchurched" rather than learning from God's Word. Do we really have to stoop to the level of paying people to tell us what they think about our worship services? The apostle Paul reminds us that "the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God" (1 Corinthians 1:18). I would be willing to bet that the people Mr. Henderson paid told him something like this: "The coffee and donuts appealed to me, but things got a whole lot colder when that preacher started talking about sin and Jesus dying on the cross. Keep the coffee and donuts, but you better 'warm-up' the message!" Maybe we should have just listened to Paul. Granted, I wish that churches would rid themselves of needless, cultural baggage that unnecessarily pushes people away (i.e. expecting people to wear dressy clothes, take out their body piercings, etc.),but that is a far cry from what some church leaders have in mind.

Henderson also conducts interviews with men and women who are non­believers as an event at church and pastor conferences. Many Evangelicals "are obsessed with conversion," he says, and always speak of non-Christians as "lost."

How else should we speak about non-Christians? There are only two options: saved or lost. Okay, maybe we should just abandon the whole pesky issue of conversion anyway. I'm sure that it comes across as cold.

Finding Different Plot Lines

I came across an interesting post that deals with the way we present the gospel non-Christians. The author suggests that we may need to take different "plot lines" or starting points when we confront others with the good news. The author points to the fact that in the book of Acts, we can see how Paul used different starting points with the Jews than he did when he spoke to the Gentiles. Check out the article and tell me what you think. But until you take time to read and comment, I'll give you a few of my thoughts:

Ultimately, our aim is to point people to Jesus and the cross--to boldly proclaim with the prophet Isaiah, "Your God reigns" (Is. 52:7). We do this because we want to see God glorified and mankind satisfied in God. Or if we can use the language of the Westminster Shorter Catechism, we want to see men and women live for the end in which they were created: "Man's chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever." So, let us endevour to speak the gospel in ways that will connect and challange those whom we are addressing.